That which doesn't kill me makes me feel alive.....

Recently a friend who had visited me when I was very ill asked me what ever possessed me to try to run again.  How does one answer that question?  I had to consider this.  Walking was part of my healing program.  As my high school friend " Walkin' William " via Facebook had told me-" Just keep walking".
He had learned this lesson the hard way from the result of  a car accident that had injured his brain.

  What I had not known before this happened to me, is that walking is hugely helpful to not only the body but to the  brain itself.  As several of my neighbors can attest to, my early steps around the neighborhood were not pretty.  My husband had to hang on to me and coach each step as I tried to talk him out of the activity.  Sometimes I had tears, but he made me continue.  For the longest time, I could not figure out where my right foot was pointing, or why I had intermittent balance issues, and such strange symptoms I could have never dreamed of.  Thought to be part of the ringing my ears that I had also acquired it was believed that my ears had some effect going on too.  Once I got most of the kinks out, I could walk faster and further.  I really don't know when I changed my mind and decided to try a walk/slow run.  I don't remember that.  A lot of that time is a blur.  But, as I got stronger, I got braver and just wanted to try.   I was home alone all day while Ben was at work.  I couldn't read much and retain it.  Blood behind my right eye made it so hard to focus.  I had seen all the daytime TV I could tolerate.  In fact Ben told me that running causes vasodilation, which lowers the blood pressure.  Since my BP was supposed to be kept low, I concluded that as long as I did not overdo it or get symptoms, it must be a good thing.  I didn't hurt at all for trying.   Foolishly I did not ask for permission from my doctor.  What if he said no?  How did I really benefit sitting around, taking it easy if I did not enjoy it?  Sitting around, taking it easy, actually can contribute to other non healthy, life threatening conditions.  But really, once I started feeling enough better, I just had to try, but slowly.

One of my favorite walking partners. 

My first race after I got started again, was Thanksgiving 2013.  I was not ready.  I knew I was not ready and just finishing would be a huge challenge.  But, it was the Turkey Trot, and my kids were here and wanted to do it with Ben and me.  I told them I was going to run/walk it.  No one was concerned I would do otherwise, as I was verbally adamant I was not ready, and only wanted to complete it to participate as a family again.  That being said, I got started and some switch in my brain clicked on and I wanted to try suddenly to see how fast I could in fact do it.  It was not pretty at the end.  It was the first race or run I had not won or at least placed.   That afternoon/evening I did not enjoy the dinner.  I  was completely exhausted.  I felt defeated, even though I knew better.  Marathons and 1/2s are very popular.  I have so far not been interested in running that far.  5k is perfect.   I like the length.  I like to compete.  One day I may try a 10 K.

After the TTrot, I started to train, and try to improve my pace.  Racing and running for exercise are to me two different things.  When a friend tells me they can't run with someone cause they are too fast, my response is a training run is not a race.   It is comfortable pace for you, and you actually enjoy doing it.  If you are not having fun, feeling great, you are going too fast.  That has been my experience at least.

I won't be running today in the 27 degrees, not because its too cold for me, but because I managed to fit in a slow run yesterday.   I will rest today, as tomorrow is Friday, my husband is off work, and after we do some errands in the morning, we will meet Coach Tim at 4pm to see what we may need to work on or change in our training.   I predict he will tell us we need to do more cycling,  strength training as cross training can strengthen the muscles that support the joints and protect against injury.

In any event, unless something really bad happens, its my plan to keep on running, as that is the exercise that makes me feel alive.    The Senior Games is the biggest competitive event anywhere for people 50 and over.  It is  the challenge that keeps me going.  I know the likelihood of winning a medal or even placing in top 10 is slim.  I have checked the times from the last games.  I have perused the records.   I only wish I had started earlier in life, but I am determined to do it now.  It began as a joke, and now is a bucket list item for me and my husband.   As the words of a song go...."that which doesn't kill me makes me feel alive......"  Some people jump out of planes, I run.