I Have Had To Stop Running- Pushing Too Hard Can Slow You Down

I have been in a bit of denial.  Actually, a lot of it.  The build up for  the big race, moving out of a house, into another then again into an interim apartment, travel across the country in time to run in the biggest 5K held only every two years, and then back to adjust to a new apartment, preparing for and then presenting data in a Houston Tax Protest Hearing, then unpacking, cleaning and settling new home three hours away, just thinking about it is exhausting.  I wasn't sleeping well at night, and I had no time for naps.  My life became a terribly run on sentence.  It was like a train on the tracks hurtling forward without a brake.  My life became a marathon and I now feel every punishing mile.

 I can say proudly " I did it all and did it well" but that does not make me feel any better today.  I tried to function like I have not been  challenged physically and mentally, like I am not a vintage person with a physical and mental limit.  That is until I hit that limit, tried to push beyond it, and now am back to where the common activities of daily living are exhausting.  I have no energy to run errands, let alone run.  I have tried, and had to stop.  I tried to run yesterday.  I had to stop.  I had to admit defeat, for now.  After just trying I had to go lay down and rest.  Complete exhaustion set in.  It feels like I am too tired to beathe when I push too far.  I have taken more steps backwards now than I can bear to consider.
 I feel weak.  I feel mentally and physically spent.  I did this to myself, with the help of life and my sense of duty and need to accomplish.  I am not 30 any more.  I have limits and exceeded them, so now I am paying for it.

Running was a way I felt strong.  I felt free and like I was really alive.  I felt a sense of accomplishment without having to concentrate or remember.  I could put on music I love and enjoy natural surroundings, fresh air, sunshine, and the freedom of the open road.  Until I tried to expend enormous amounts of brain and body energy tackling our life changes and demands.  It feels like failure.

All stressors of life, work, effort needs to be balanced with adequate food, fuel and rest.  The older person, older runner, needs more rest.  I know now I did not take enough recovery time after each event.  Selling house, preparing for move, moving, unpacking and settling, training to run, travel to Senior Games, running that race, etc, my life became a run on sentence.  Until I hit the wall.

Time for me to unplug, take a deep breath and plan my days again.  I need to get back on the routine. I need to have a walk every day.  That is healing.  I need more rest, and that means a good nap every day, at the same time.  I need to eat only healthy unprocessed foods.  I need to drink more water, and wait.  I will feel better, it just takes longer.  My body will respond.  It has before.  Each time I get myself to this point, I swear to myself I will not over do again, that I have learned my lesson.  This is a constant struggle.  Find your balance.  Know your limits.  Take best care of yourself first.  Then get on with what brings joy to your life.